THE SOCIAL PLAN - Stephen Leacock Poems

 
 

Poems » stephen leacock » the social plan

THE SOCIAL PLAN

I know a very tiresome Man
Who keeps on saying, "Social Plan."
        At every Dinner, every Talk
        Where Men foregather, eat or walk,
        No matter where, -- this Awful Man
        Brings on his goddam Social Plan.

The Fall in Wheat, the Rise in Bread,
The social Breakers dead ahead,
    The Economic Paradox
    That drives the Nation on the rocks,
The Wheels that false Abundance clogs --
And frightens us from raising Hogs, --
    This dreary field, the Gloomy Man
    Surveys and hiccoughs, Social Plan.

Till simpler Men begin to find
His croaking aggravates their mind,
    And makes them anxious to avoid
    All mention of the Unemployed,
And leads them even to abhor
The People called Deserving Poor.
    For me, my sympathies now pass
    To the poor Plutocratic Class.
    The Crowd that now appeals to me
    Is what he calls the Bourgeoisie.

So I have got a Social Plan
To take him by the Neck,
And lock him in a Luggage van
And tie on it a check,
    Marked MOSCOW VIA TURKESTAN,
    Now, how's that for a Social Plan?